To put a simple definition on it, your frame of reference has to do with what data and information you consider and take into account when making decisions. An internal frame of reference involves using your own beliefs, emotions, and knowledge to make a decision. An external frame of reference involves relying on external information, or on someone else's opinion, knowledge, and/or instincts.
The common "self help" mantra, for example, usually involves looking inside for answers and for validation, for example, not being overly concerned with the approval, praise, or opinions of others. This view exists because so many of us out there seem to get into trouble and cause ourselves unnecessary anguish when we heed the words of others (in particular, those with negative attitudes, or those with which we may have toxic relationships) instead of valuing our own judgement.
If anything, this is what I believe Bruce Lee was trying to combat when he penned the oft quoted, "Research your own experience. Absorb what is useful. Reject what is useless. Add what is essentially your own." Given the widespread evidence that it is seemingly human nature to rely so much on an external frame of reference, I believe he also had this in mind when he said that only one in one hundred people would truly be able to understand Jeet Kune Do.
The fact is that even today, with all of the knowledge available in martial arts, fitness, and nutrition, people still want to BE TOLD WHAT TO DO. What should I eat if I want to lose weight? What exercise program should I used to get back in shape? What system should I train in if I want to be a good fighter? What techniques should I use in this or that situation? I admit that I'm still prone to these type of questions from time to time.
Part of the reason for this behavior is that all of us, in one area or another, are beginners. And this is where it is not only valid but necessary to seek the council of people in the know. If I don't know anything about nutrition, but I know I want to lose weight, I'll probably get a lot further by asking questions and learning more about nutrition by going to the "experts" rather than by simple trial and error. Likewise, if I want to get better at grappling, I'll probably save myself some frustration by going out and training in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, Wrestling, or some other grappling art, rather than just trying things out on my own. This also brings up the question of whom to go to for this advice, which is a topic for another day.
The problem with relying on this external frame of reference is that eventually we are going to encounter setbacks and difficulties. If all we have is an external frame of reference, these setbacks might cause us to question the source of the information we'd been using or throw our hands up in frustration and quit. After all, we asked for advice because we wanted to know "what works." So if it's not working anymore, we might as well go ask someone else, right?
The fact of the matter is that individuality always plays a role in any kind of human development. No two people will get the exact same results from the same diet or exercise regimen, and no two people will progress the same in a martial art. So it behooves each of us to take some responsibility for our own development and take into account our individuality. This might mean taking into account individual physique, orthopedic concerns, lifestyle, emotional make-up, motivations, etc.
So how do we know when to get outside help and when to look inward for answers? Well, like I said, this is something that we all will probably struggle with at times, but I think having some basic guidelines or principles can go a long way:
1. Go to the "experts" to learn the basic principles/techniques, but rely on your own experience to teach you how to best apply those principles/techniques.
2. When you stumble, first check and see if you were actually following the principles/techniques the way they were taught. Chances are, you might have missed something. If not, then it's time to think outside the box.
3. Everybody has bad days. Know when to chalk it up to a bad day versus a real problem.
4. Always keep your mind open to possibilities, but make sure that you're still keeping your eye on the road (more about that in the next post)
5. After you have some experience under your belt, it makes it easier to know whom to listen to. Does what you're being told by an "expert" seem consistent with your own experience?
